Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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