someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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