ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
