My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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