standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
