you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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