All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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