would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
