im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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