Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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