hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Life is so much better after having sex.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
