So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
