Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
