he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I forget how to act sober
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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