well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
