Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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