I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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