Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
