My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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