im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She even gives head with a lisp.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
