When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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