Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
