i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
