Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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