bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
