you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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