you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
