You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
