Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
