Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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