one two three fourrrrnication!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
