I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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