I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
