Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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