um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
