What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
