mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
