Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
two words: eviction party
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
