Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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