did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
