don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
