Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
