1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
