Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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