I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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