help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
