Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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