i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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