Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My penis needs a shock collar
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There are leaves in my underwear?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
