i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
