do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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