her vagine was all disorganized.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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