I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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