If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
