I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
