Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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