I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
